Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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