The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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