I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
