just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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