good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
