brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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