I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
