Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
