Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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