PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
