it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
