More tranny stories later!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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