first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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