maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
