i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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