Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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