I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
