dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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