If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
