I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
