at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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