ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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