how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
do herpes really smell.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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