This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
