i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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