she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
