Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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