ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
