are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just want to make out with him forever
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
