I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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