Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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