Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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