I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
