I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
