so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
