In America we eat man semen.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
