Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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