holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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