she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
