I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
