I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
