I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
