remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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