he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
