Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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