Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
