i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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