can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
