Plan B is the new Plan A
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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