we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
