Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
