she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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