going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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