I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
