is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
