dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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