talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
