There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
